Thursday, April 24, 2008

My soul needed some soup :-)

There are blogs. And there is the blog. Where would mine be? Haven't a clue because at 28 (one month due for turning 29), I have never been very definitive about life. Except for say, that I always knew that I didn't want a career in Maths and that I was straight. I was feeling particularly blue last week until I went to cover a book reading cum launch session of Nishant Kaushik's Watch Out! We are MBA. (I am a journo btw and have been so for six years and I am thinking of not being one for a year or so.)

Well, so I went to this book reading and there he was - Nishant Kaushik. The press note described him as 'a young, enterprising consultant with Infosys Technologies...' and sure, he was young and quite good looking at that. Had a very well toned body and while he was reading an excerpt from his book , I was thinking of how I always thought of going to the gym and how I never did. That is besides the point actually.

What I was saying that I had been feeling particularly blue that week. You know how it is. I am 28, turning 29 soon. I am still in the same city where I was born (I sort of really like the city but I think I getting a little restive now). Even after reading Po Brosnan's What should I do with my life? and finding out that there are various people who have no idea of what they should do with their life, I felt no better about not knowing what I should do with mine.

So while at the session, I was thinking about how this guy has debuted with his first novel, and mine was still somewhere lost in the recesses of my mind and imagination. And then he said, (something to that effect): "I would like my readers to know that many intelligent people don't know what they want in life even after till they are 40. But what is more important that they know what they don't want to."

Aha, I felt. I certainly know what I don't want to. I don't want to be ever giving maths papers. I don't want to die without writing something of consequence (I am impressed!). I don't want to be involved, ever, ever, ever with a married man, though I certainly want to marry a man. (whom I can grow to love if I am already not in love or something close to that when I marry him.) And if I am married, I don't want to be without children.

Now how do I get going to get close to what I want? At this point, I am taking solace in what many life coaches seem to be reinforcing in their writings: "When you really want something , the whole universe conspires to get it for you."
Just in case, the universe wants to know. The tag line for my gmail account reads: 'A house of my own, a dog at my feet, a porch and a garden, and a man whom I can call 'honey!' :-)'

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